Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
