And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
