her vagine was all disorganized.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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