The maid of honor just puked.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
sex in a hospital.. check
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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