I think my vagina is haunted
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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