I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
