He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
