Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I party with great urgency now.
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