I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude i'm inner monologue high
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
