I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
