I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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