I'm lost and stupid without you.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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