My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
that's an acceptable place to lick
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
