forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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