rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
