Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
