He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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