"it" just moved
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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