Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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