You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize