do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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