The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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