you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
