I'm lost and stupid without you.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
