i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my shit smells like andre
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
