Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
