Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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