My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize