You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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