woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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