he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
