"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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