my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
