I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
