Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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