Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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