we have officially lost it.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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