I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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