Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize