I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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