I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize