Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize