cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
