I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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