you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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