we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
