Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My friends, they love my intelligence
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
