Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
