So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
