well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
