I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
it's like iHOP with fire
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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