Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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