STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
