how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
