on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
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