all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
