if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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