And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
