Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
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i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
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I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize