some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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