Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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