You're my little dorito
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
