i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
