Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
